Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
