Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize