I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
