worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
