Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
