I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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