love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize