Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize