new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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