we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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