You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
