My sheets look like a crime scene.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
