I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
