i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
