The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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