Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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