I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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