i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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