508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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