I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
