By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
