Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize