Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize