on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
