I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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