Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
