i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
