evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
