It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
