If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
