dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am naked and annoyed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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