You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
