i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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