You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
