Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
