I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize