Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
