you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
