you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
