my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
