I don't think brook has ever known best
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
