My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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