Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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