sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
