I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She bit a glass in half.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
