OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
