Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
