Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize