Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize