Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
