would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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