bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
