Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
