I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
