This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
