just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize