Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
