were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize