i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
