Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
