oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
